<p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 20px"><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px; FONT-WEIGHT: normal">来源:互联网</span></strong></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">1</span>、(登机中,空姐<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">MM</span>在机门口迎客,上来一位帅哥<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span>)空姐<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">MM</span>:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>欢迎您登机,请问您是什么座?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span> 帅哥:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>我是天蝎座,你呢!<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>空姐(一脸害羞状):<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>真的嘛,好巧噢,我也是天蝎座耶<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……&quot;</span>后面排队的乘客晕倒。<br/><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">2</span>、(登机完毕,广播响起<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span>)空姐:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>女士们,先生们,欢迎乘坐本次航班,请您坐在跑道上,系好安全带,我们的飞机马上就要起飞了<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……&quot;</span>乘客暴寒<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 19px"><br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">3</span>、(飞机处于起飞状态中,轰鸣声甚大,空姐<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">A</span>与空姐<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">B</span>坐在头等仓闲聊<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span>)空姐<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">A</span>:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>看,那个旅客的鼻毛露出来了,呵呵~<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>空姐<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">B</span>:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot; </span>听不见,你说什么?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>空姐<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">A</span>只好又大声重复了一遍,结果空姐<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">B</span>依然摇头示意听不见<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px"> .</span>这时,那名旅客走了过来,凑到空姐<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">B</span>耳边说:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>小姐,她说我的鼻毛露出来了!<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 19px"><br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">4</span>、(飞机终于<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>爬<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>上高空,进入平稳飞行状态,空姐开始送饮料<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span>)<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>叮咚~<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>一名男乘客按响了呼唤铃。空姐:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>先生,请问有什么需要帮助吗?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>男乘客默然。(可能第一次坐飞机,他有点紧张。)空姐解释:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>这是呼唤铃,如果有什么需要再按它,我们会及时帮助您!<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>乘客男点点头。可还没等空姐<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">MM</span>回到坐位,呼唤铃又响了。空姐<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">MM</span>回头一看,只见乘客男站起来,嘴对着呼唤铃大声喊到:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>可乐~加冰~<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>空姐:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 19px"><br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">5</span>、(空姐继送饮料中<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span>)<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>太太,您好!请问要喝点什么吗?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>中年女乘客不好意思地说:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>不喝,不喝。<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>于是空姐小声地说:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>免费的哦<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……&quot;</span>女乘客:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>啊?免费的啊!我要一杯橙汁,一杯可乐,一杯咖啡,还要<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……&quot;</span>说完,这名女乘客想想,又从包里拿出一个瓶子说:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>再给我灌点豆浆在里面!我要把飞机票喝回来。<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>空姐晕眩<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 19px"><br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">6</span>、(空姐打起精神继送饮料中<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span>)空姐:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>先生您是喝橙汁还是喝苹果汁?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>旅客:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>你们这儿的橙汁有苹果味儿的吗?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>空姐继续晕眩中<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 19px"><br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">7</span>、(空姐扶墙送饮料中<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span>)空姐:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>您好,请问有什么可以帮您的吗?旅客:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>能要一杯水吗?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>空姐:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>当然可以,矿泉水吗?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>旅客:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>有果汁吗?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>空姐:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>有,橙汁和桃汁请问需要哪一种?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>旅客:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>有可乐吗?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>空姐:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>有,需要加冰吗?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>旅客:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>那给我一咖啡吧!<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>空姐:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">@</span>(百分号)¥<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">@^×……</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 19px"><br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">8</span>、(空姐<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">MM</span>手拿两 咖啡回?客舱<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span>)这时,一位旅客指着窗外问空姐:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>小姐,这是什么湖啊?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>空姐<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">MM</span>回答:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>咖啡壶。<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>旅客晕眩中<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 19px"><br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">9</span>、(叮咚,呼唤铃又响了<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span>)旅客:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>小姐,有指甲剪吗?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>空姐:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>您当我是小叮当啊<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……&quot;</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 19px"><br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">10</span>、(机舱集体无语中,飞机平稳地飞行着,这时,广播里传来了机长愉快的声音<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span>)<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>女士们,先生们,我是你们的机长,欢迎大家乘做本次航班,我想告诉大家的是<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span>啊!天哪!!<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>机长话说了一半,突然发出了一声<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">KB</span>的惊叫,之后,广播里就再没有声音了。这时,所有的乘客都吓话坏了,连空姐也害怕的不知所措,机舱内鸦雀无声<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span>过了好一会,广播终于传来了机长的声音:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>女士们、先生们,真对不起,让大家受惊了。发生了一点小小的意外,刚才乘务员给我到咖啡的时候,不小心把咖啡撒在了我的衬衣上,不信你们来看,都湿透了!<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>这时,机舱里响起一个乘客怒气冲天的抱怨声:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>衬衫湿了算什么,你来看看我的裤裆!<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>机长晕眩中<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 19px"><br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">11</span>、(不知不觉,供餐时间又到了,空姐<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">MM</span>开始送食品<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span>)空姐:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>先生,我们有鸡肉米饭和鱼肉米饭,请问您吃哪种?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>旅客:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>排骨!<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>空姐:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>先生,我们有鸡肉米饭、鱼肉米饭,请问您选哪种?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>旅客:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>排骨!<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>空姐(沉默片刻后):<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>我们有鸡排骨和鱼排骨,您吃哪种?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 19px"><br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">12</span>、(空姐继续送饭中<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span>)空姐:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>鱼肉米饭和猪肉米饭请问要哪种?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>旅客:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>我们两个要猪,他要鱼!<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 19px"><br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">13</span>、(空姐继续晕眩送饭中<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span>)空姐:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>请问牛和鱼您喜欢哪种?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>乘客:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>好的,我要 牛和<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px"> .&quot;</span> 空姐:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>是牛,和鱼。<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>乘客:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>哦!那我要 和鱼<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px"> .&quot;</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 19px"><br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">14</span>、(用餐完毕,空姐开始收餐盘<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span>)一个旅客指着吃得干干净净的餐盘(连根菜叶都没剩下)抱怨道:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>小姐,你们的餐食太差了,简直就是狗食!<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>空姐无语中<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 19px"><br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">15</span>、(大多数乘客都递上餐盘便于乘务员收取,而一名靠窗的乘客无动于衷,空姐<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">MM</span>伸手够不着,于是<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span>)空姐:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>先生,麻烦您把餐盘递一下好吗?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>那名乘客傲慢地回答:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>你是服务员,还是我是服务员?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>空姐很礼貌地回答:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>是的,先生!我是服务员,但我不是长臂猿!<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 19px"><br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">16</span>、(飞机飞临北京上空,准备降落中<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span>)飞机落地前,空姐要做好签封工作,可是刚签封完就有一名旅客向空姐要可乐。空姐:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>对不起,我们都 封 了<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;.</span>旅客怒答:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>至于嘛!我就要个可乐,你们就疯啦?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>空姐:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 19px"><br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">17</span>、(飞机还在滑行中,旅客就已经都站起来拿行李了,为了安全,空姐又拿起了广播<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span>)原本,空姐<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">MM</span>应该说:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>女士们,先生们,我们的飞机还在滑行,请您坐好,并关闭头顶上方的行李架。<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>结果,她一着急广播成了:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>女士们,先生们,我们的飞机滑得还行<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……&quot;</span>这时候,<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>叮咚~<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>内话机又响了,里面传来机长的声音:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>谁夸我呢?<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>空姐崩溃中<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 19px"><br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">18</span>、(飞机终于停下了,空姐<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">MM</span>心里老想着赶班车去东直门肯德基餐厅和男友约会,于是广播又传来如下温馨提示<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span>)<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>女士们,先生们,我们的飞机已经抵达首都北京东直门肯德基机场<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span>再见~<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">&quot;</span>旅客疯了<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; FONT-SIZE: 19px">……</span></span></p><p></p>