笑话十二则

<p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 2em"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">来源：互联网</span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 2em"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">（一）一村长喝多回家错进猪圈，躺在母猪身边说：老婆：给我倒杯水，母猪哼了一哼，村长说，不倒就不倒呗，撒什么娇。随手一摸说：买皮衣啦，还是双排扣呢。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px"> </span><br/><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">（二）老夫妇去拍照，摄影师问：</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px">“</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">您是要测光，逆光，还是全光？</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px">”</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">大爷腼腆的说：</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px">“</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">我是无所谓，能不能给你大妈留条裤衩？</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px">” </span><br/><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">（三）一天，一理发师把一个卖糖葫芦的揍了，到警察局警察问理发师：你为什么揍卖糖葫芦的？理发师说：</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px">***</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">，我在屋里烫头发，他在外面喊</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px">“</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">烫糊喽</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px">” </span><br/><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">（四）某男入厠便秘，忽见一人飞奔而入，顷刻风雨交加，</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px">“</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">哥们儿，真羡慕你呀，那么快。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px">”“</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">羡慕啥呀，还没来得及脱裤子呢！</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px">” </span><br/><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">（五）老外游莱芜，遇一老太太逗猫，上前问：你在干嘛？老太太答：古捣猫尼！老外大惊，连老人都会外语</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px">!</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">赠其巧克力，老太太以为是地瓜干，说：俺莱芜有！老外晕倒！</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px"> </span><br/><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">（六）蝴蝶对蜜蜂说：你真够小气的，装一肚子甜言蜜语却一句都舍不得给我，蜜蜂说：哼！还说我呢，你头上顶着那么长两根天线咋不给我发短信呢。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px"> </span><br/><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">（七）</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px">{</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">同行</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px">}</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">屎壳郎与蚊子谈恋爱，屎壳郎：</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px">“</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">你啥职业？</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px">”</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">蚊子：</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px">“</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">护士，打针的，你呢？</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px">”</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">屎壳郎笑道：</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px">“</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">缘分呐，同行，俺是中药捏药丸的。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px">” </span><br/><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px">(</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">八）老公：现在几点？老婆：十点，老公：整吗？老婆：太早了吧，别人都没有睡觉呢！我是问十点整吗？老婆：十一点在整吧。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px"> </span><br/><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">（九）小两口打架，把一枕头扔到楼下，一乞丐正好路过，甚喜，接着又飞下一床被子，乞丐狂喜，抹着眼泪冲楼上喊：楼上的大哥，行行好，把那女的也扔下来吧。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px"> </span><br/><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">（十）老婆：晚上是不是想活动活动？丈夫：老想了，老婆：那下班后不许说累，说晚上没精神，不能糊弄就完事，丈夫：必须的，老婆：那晚上把我换的衣服都洗了吧。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px"> </span><br/><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">（十一）一少妇倒垃圾，不小心滑倒在垃圾堆里，正要爬起，被一捡破烂的老头搂在怀里，老头感慨的说：城里人就是不会过日子，这么好的媳妇说不要就不要了。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 14px"> </span><br/><span style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica,sans-serif; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: #444444; FONT-SIZE: 20px">（十二）一个人大脚趾突然变青，神医确诊为癌，于是切除，数天，二脚趾也变青，在切除，三天后，脚掌全变青，只好转大医院，最后专家会诊诊断为：袜子退色。</span></span></p><p></p>